


Feelings

by msinpinitu (Knaija)



Series: Before the First Day of Infinite [4]
Category: Infinite (Band)
Genre: Crying, Feelings, M/M, Misunderstandings, Omega-verse, Pre-debut, Star-crossed, True Love, alphas in love, hinted woogyuya, obstacles, who cares
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-21
Updated: 2017-02-21
Packaged: 2018-09-26 02:01:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9856919
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Knaija/pseuds/msinpinitu
Summary: Howon was once sure Sunggyu had feelings for him. These days? He’s not so sure anymore.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This story is a part of [On the First Day of Infinite](https://archiveofourown.org/works/7697677)  
> So please check it out if anything confuses you, or ask in the comments

Howon knew the drill. He’d seen Sunggyu do it twice before and it wasn’t until the second time that he found out that it actually drained the older alpha every time he forced his will on others. But Sunggyu had been pushed to it. He’d felt the need to scold Sungyeol into submission and so had let it all reign on everyone in the living room. But the moment he let up, Howon watched the lag in speech, the faintness of his breath, the casual lean on the wall and the way his eyes fought not to droop.

He could tell things weren’t feeling too well being in the leader’s shoes at the moment. So he moved up, taking Sunggyu by the arm as he led him back to his room because Sunggyu had just exiled Sungyeol to his own room.

The minute the door shut behind both of them, Sunggyu slumped against him and Howon cradled him, leading him slowly to the ground.

“Sorry.” Sunggyu said.

“It’s fine.”

“It’s not. I shouldn’t do that.” Sunggyu groaned, shifting away. “I shouldn’t make all of you obey me.”

“You didn’t.” Howon said, pulling his pillow so that Sunggyu could use it to prop against the wall. “Should I get you something to drink?”

As he moved to stand, Sunggyu held his hand, keeping him in place as Howon stared down at the spot where Sunggyu’s skin was touching his. It felt like a lifetime ago since they’d been like this together… just the two of them. No one else. And ever since, Howon hadn’t been able to tell or to be really sure, that Sunggyu felt for him like he felt for Sunggyu.

“I’m sorry.” He repeated and Howon finally got the sense that maybe Sunggyu was apologizing for more than forcing his will. “I never meant to hurt you.”

 _Do you still love me_? Howon wanted to ask. He’d pictured himself asking it time and time again. Getting the confidence to just throw it out there and see what happened? But he couldn’t. Not when Woohyun was still present.  Not when he was still bonded to Sunggyu in a way that Howon could never hope to be.

There was a time when he could fantasize about their star-crossed love and hope that the only reason they were apart was because Sunggyu had to be with Woohyun. But that wasn’t so anymore. In a month, their cycles would come and Howon would break the bond. Woohyun and Sunggyu would be free of each other and he wouldn’t be able to say that the reason he couldn’t be with Sunggyu was Woohyun anymore.

He didn’t want to believe that if that time ever came, Sunggyu wouldn’t love him anymore. Because it was hard to see why Sunggyu would. He was not the same submissive omega Howon had fallen in love with by mistake. This was an alpha. An uber. Leader of Big Dipper. He was so much more than Howon remembered and there was no reason for him to love Howon.

Sunggyu brushed his fingers against Howon’s cheek, causing Howon to realize that he’d been crying. He sniffed and tried to turn away but Sunggyu held on, looking him in the eye.

“You’re crying.”

“Didn’t notice.” Howon said and Sunggyu laughed, triggering Howon’s own laughter. He couldn’t help it. If Sunggyu was laughing, Howon wanted to laugh too. “I’m fine.”

“No, you’re not.” Sunggyu said. “But I’ll let you cry in peace.”

“I’m not crying.” Howon said stubbornly.

“Of course.” Sunggyu said, still looking at him. “My fingers have learnt to secrete tears all on their own now.”

Now, Howon really laughed, letting out a gust of air from his lungs as he forced himself to relax. He sat beside Sunggyu as the both of them let the quiet dorm sink away around them.

“Are you ready for next month?” Sunggyu asked and Howon nodded. “You understand-”

“You are not giving me the sex talk!” Howon said, pitch raised just a tad. “I’ve had sex before.” Waved his finger between them. “We’ve had sex. You were there.”

Sunggyu laughed, and Howon blushed even more, raising his knees to his chest as he buried his face in them, shaking with shame.

“It’s not the same though, is it?”

“I’ve had sex with Woohyun, hyung. I know what to do.”

“But it’s not sex this time. It’s mating.”

“What’s the difference?”

“For one, a knot.” Sunggyu said.

“I know how to pop a knot. Why are you doing this to me?” His head knocked back against the wall.

“I’m not trying to mortify you.”

“You’re being brilliant at it anyway.”

“Because I’m brilliant.” Sunggyu huffed. “It has nothing to do with you at all.”

They fell into silence again, Sunggyu leaning back by his side while Howon listened to him breathing calmly.

“That’s not all I meant though.” Howon sighed in frustration as Sunggyu continued to speak. “Yes, it’s about the sex and it’s about the knotting but that’s not all.”

“What else is there?”

“The bite.”

_Oh. Right!_

“How was it for you?” Howon asked him.

“When I bit Woohyun?” Sunggyu asked. “I don’t know. It was kinda instinctive. I mean, there I was knotting a beautiful omega and then something just started nudging, insisting that I bite him… that it would feel soooo good if I did. So I did.”

“Did it feel good?”

“Yes.” Sunggyu said, sounding like he was moaning. Howon looked at him and he had his head against the wall but his eyes were closed as he spoke. “It was like I was growing on the spot. My head, my arms, my body. EVERYTHING. I was on fire and everything was alert and I felt so good.”

Howon gulped, imagining what it could have been like to share that with Sunggyu.

“Would it be different for me?”

“It might be. I mean, we don’t know. For one, Woohyun’s not an unbonded omega anymore so you might need to be more conscious about the bite. It’ll feel good but you need to make sure that you bit him, Howon.”

“I will.” He promised.

Sunggyu nodded.

“At least now he’ll be a legit member of Big Dipper _because_ he deserves to be here… not because he’s bonded to the leader.”

Howon had to admit that that would be a better option. Having another alpha bite Woohyun to cancel the bite from Sunggyu was a rather convenient plan. Woohyun wouldn’t feel useless anymore. He wouldn’t have to feel inferior.

_And most of all, he wouldn’t hold sole dibs on the do’s and don’ts of Sunggyu’s dick._

The moment the thought entered his mind, Howon felt guilty. He knew Sunggyu and Woohyun had never liked each other like that. But he couldn’t help hating them both just a little bit for having what he wanted and not even wanting it at all.

“Do you want to be there?” Howon asked, lowering his eyes and already knowing the answer. No alpha wanted to be there when another was knotting an omega. No one wanted-

“Do you mean that?”

Howon’s eyes grew but he continued to look at the ground. This was so stupid. They shouldn’t even be discussing it.

“And if I did?”

He finally looked up and Sunggyu was looking at him now, pensive and calculating.

“How would that work?” Sunggyu asked. “Exactly.”

“You’d… you’d just be there… to… to make sure… I did it right.”

_Yeah. Very articulate._

“What if you changed your mind? What if Woohyun didn’t want me there?”

“Remember what he said last time.” Howon said, remembering when Woohyun had said, _“I’m attracted to knots.”_ “He’s attracted to knots.”

Sunggyu kept thinking, mulling it over as Howon remained. Waiting. He wasn’t sure what this. Maybe it was eagerness to see Sunggyu in a sexual situation again. Or maybe it was just a need to be close to him. It could also be a need to have something to look forward to. Because knowing that he at least, had this, he’d be happy.

“You should ask Woohyun first, though.” Howon said, finally. “Or maybe, I should. We both should. I don’t know.”

He sighed and hit his head on the wall again.

“We’ll ask him together.” Sunggyu finally said. “Make sure he’s comfortable with it.”

Howon nodded, he stood to his feet.

“I’ll get you something to drink. Get your energy back up.” He said, remembering that Sunggyu was drained and little under the weather.

As Howon pressed to open the door, Sunggyu spoke.

“Howon?” He said. “It’s always been you.” Howon looked back at him. “A lot… has kept us apart but it’s always been you.”

Howon didn’t know what to do at the verification. He wanted to say something. He wanted to laugh. He wanted to run out of the room and scream but that would just make the maknaes wary of him for days. So he settled for calm when he replied.

“It’s always been you too, hyung.”

They shared a moment of silence before nodding at each other.

Then Howon left and closed the door.

**Author's Note:**

> To continue reading OTFDOI, click [HERE](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7697677/chapters/22711349)


End file.
